By Greg Tate

What Is Hiphop?

| Flyboy 2

for dream hampton, the conversational inspiration, and for meshell ndegeocello for being meshell ndegeocello

  • Buddha blessed and boo-ya blasted
  • These are the words that she manifested
  • A grim little tyke in a black pleather raincoat
  • She stepped to the mike and said,
  • “Repeat after me, there is no such thing as alternative hip-hop, there is no such thing as alternative hip-hop.“
  • So Boo in the blue silk hoody pops up like,
  • “Hey baby you’d be a good-looking man if you worked at it but what the fuck you know about hip-hop?”
  • Now why he go and say that?
  • Lil Grim sez, “I know hip-hop like I know your mother.
  • Your mother so hip-hop I seen her laying pipe in Alaska
  • Your mother so hip-hop she yelled ho ’fo I even axed her
  • Your mother so hip-hop she thinks Biz Markie’s cute as shit
  • Your mother so hip-hop she told you, time to get off my dick
  • Next time you speak to your mother, send her my best.”
  • Buddha blessed and boo ya blasted
  • These are the words that she manifested:
  • Hip-hop is inverse capitalism
  • Hip-hop is reverse colonialism
  • Hip-hop is the world the slaveholders made, sent into nigga-fied future shock.
  • Hip-hop is the plunder from down under, mackin all others for pleasure
  • Hip-hop is the Black aesthetic byproduct of the
  • American dream machine, our culture of consumption, commodification, and subliminal seduction
  • Where George Clinton warned us about Madison Avenue urge overkill, the pimping of the pleasure principle, hip-hop embraces the pleasures of the pimping principle
  • Hip-hop is the first musical movement in history where Black people pimped themselves before the white boy did
  • Hip-hop pimped the funk before the white boy and heavy metal too
  • Hip-hop is the perverse logic of capitalism pursued by an artform
  • Like capitalism, hip-hop converts raw soul into store rack commodity
  • Like capitalism, hip-hop has no morals, no conscience, and no ecological concern for the scavenged earth or the scavenged American minds it will wreck in its pursuit of new markets
  • Unlike Sigourney Weaver’s nemesis alien, hip-hop is not the other man’s rape fantasy of the Black sex machine gone berserk.
  • Hip-hop is James Brown’s pelvis digitally grinded into technomorphine.
  • Hip-hop is dope-know-logy, the only known antidote for prime-time sensory deprivation
  • There is no such thing as alternative hip-hop because the only alternative to hip-hop is dead silence and we all know such silence signifies a lack of breath
  • There is no such thing as good hip-hop or bad hip-hop, progressive hiphop or reactionary hip-hop, politically incorrect hip-hop or hip-hop with a message.
  • It’s either hip-hop or it ain’t Shit
  • Hip-hop is beyond good and evil, hip-hop is beyond life and death
  • Hip-hop was dead but hip-hop reanimated
  • Hip-hop does not live on Yo! MTV Raps
  • Hip-hop currently resides beneath the noise where all the fly girlz and boyz use hip-hop as a form of telemetry telepath and telekinesis
  • Hip-hop is how you say I love you to a hip-hop junkie
  • Hip-hop is your password into the cult of hip-hop infomaniacs
  • You know hip-hop when you see it
  • You may not see hip-hop before it seizes you
  • Hip-hop is not what it is today but what it could be tomorrow
  • Hip-hop ain’t shit but everything is hip-hoppable mad flava beatable
  • Hip-hop is Pumas and a hoody today but why not leather fringe and sequins tomorrow?
  • If hip-hop wanted to be that corny, who could argue with it but a muhfuhkuh who was faded?
  • What’s hip-hop today could easily become passé
  • Arguing with hip-hop about the nature of hip-hop is like arguing with water about the nature of wetness.
  • Like Bunny Wailer said, some tings come to ya, some tings come at ’cha, but hip-hop flows right through ya
  • Hip-hop is so far gone up its own ass you can’t even speak on it unless you follow the trail of hip-hop’s intestines out the lower end
  • Hip-hop is the rattlesnake that bit off its own tail, then listened to the death rattle warning the head that it was swallowing up the body.
  • Hip-hop is what happened when the Black community became the Bermuda Triangle and lost track of itself on the radar screen of Reaganomics.
  • Hip-hop is the blip that boom-bipped then turned up to crack, Black is back all in we’re gonna exterminate our own next of kin
  • Pink people wanna know if other pink people like hip-hop how can it still be hip-hop?
  • That’s like asking, if Black people like
  • Dirty Harry is he still Clint Eastwood?
  • Hip-hop is beyond Black nationalism.
  • Hip-hop is not hung up on counter-supremacy because it reigns supreme like all the other dope fiends
  • Hip-hop is half Black and half Japanese
  • Hip-hop is digital chips on the shoulders of African lips
  • Hip-hop is Black Prozac
  • Hip-hop is if you can’t join ’em, beat ’em, if you can’t beat ’em, blunt ’em
  • Hip-hop is Black sadomasochism
  • Hip-hop is where the hurting ends and the feeling begins or is that the other way around?
  • Hip-hop is how we rip off the band aids wounds and pour saltpeter on the wounds
  • Hip-hop is Very Ralph Ellison, who once said the blues is like running a razor blade along an open sore.
  • If it wasn’t for Black English and hip-hop I wouldn’t have no blues at all
  • Hip-hop is my black cat moan
  • Hip-hop is my black cat scan
  • Hip-hop is all I need to stop
  • It’s time for my medicine
  • Time to face the music again
  • Buddha blessed and boo-ya blasted
  • These are the words that she manifested.